Let me tell you... Hips do not lie

snorlaxatives:

me: *eats cookie dough*

some weak ass person: “you’ll get salmonella poisoning!!!” 

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When you’re young, thunderstorms seem scary. Like the sky is angry at you. But now that I’m older, something about its roar soothes me; it’s comforting to know that even nature needs to scream sometimes.

(via c0ntemplations)

Oh, but I’ve always loved the lullaby of thunderstorms.

(via daughter-of-odin)

now it is both scary and comforting. 

(via gryffindos)

pizza-dome:

theevermysteriousowl:

LOSING MY SHIT

im gunNA VOMIT

the-nameless-bird:

albuscarfypotter:

i feel like every video game has “that annoying underwater level”

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theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

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iguanamouth:

"women shouldnt have leg hair" haha nice try you fucking piece of shit youre just afraid minell be longer than yours this is a contest and im in it to win it

freeze-dried-kittens:

its not a sex toy mom, its a sex action figure

coyotestuck:

eriizabeto :

anniedraws :

livethefaggotry:

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You know you did great when they don’t need you anymore…  

UNDER

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what

This is why we can’t have nice things